What Is Sex Therapy and How Does It Work?
Introduction
Sex is an important part of human nature. Whether you have sex with other people, yourself, or not at all, sex can be both a cause and symptom of your overall mental health and well-being. Your personal experiences and history, identities, and internalized societal messages can all contribute to complex challenges with sex. Sex therapy is a supportive and confidential space to explore these difficulties, understand their roots, and develop strategies for a more fulfilling and pleasurable life. As a clinical psychologist specializing in sex therapy for individuals and couples, I'm here to demystify what sex therapy is and how it works.
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a specialized type of psychotherapy or “talk therapy” for the treatment of sexual concerns that you and/or your partner(s) may have. To address these concerns, sex therapy involves creating a safe space to talk about sensitive and vulnerable topics, a lot of psychoeducation, discussing underlying issues, and increasing your understanding of how your history, relationship, thoughts, and feelings may be impacting your sexual experiences. Common reasons individuals or couples seek sex therapy include:
Low or mismatched sexual desire
Communication challenges around sex
Erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation
Feeling dissatisfied with sex
Pain or discomfort during sex
Sexual trauma
Body image concerns impacting intimacy
Exploring sexual identity or orientation
Changes in sexual functioning (after birth, surgery, or in the context of an illness)
Exploring kink/BDSM
Discussing consensual nonmonogamy
Sexual boundaries in a polycule
How Does Sex Therapy Work?
Sex therapy is a holistic treatment, considering the interaction of psychological, emotional, relational, and sometimes biological or physiological factors. It works by building trust with your therapist so that you (and your partner) can talk about your concerns in a safe, mediated space. The therapist works to understand the factors and patterns underlying your concerns, increase your awareness and understanding, and works with you to develop and practice tangible solutions. The process typically involves:
Initial Consultation: A free consultation is a good place to start to determine if you and the therapist are a good fit. This is an opportunity to discuss your concerns and goals for therapy and ask any initial questions you might have. The therapist should be able to demonstrate comfort and competence in how they think you can work together. While it is not possible to fully know how you and the therapist might work together in such a brief time, you can know if you feel relatively comfortable talking to them about sensitive topics. Sex therapy is a specialized service that not all therapists provide. You are allowed to ask the therapist about their comfort or experience working with different sexualities and practices like consensual nonmonogamy, poly relationships, kink, and BDSM. You deserve a therapist that is genuinely affirming, nonjudgmental, and knowledgeable about your identities and concerns.
Intake & Assessment: The first session involves establishing treatment and a comprehensive diagnostic assessment. You will dive deeper into the specific challenges you're facing, share your history and relevant past experiences, and describe the frequency and severity of symptoms and their impact on your life. If you are doing couples therapy this may involve both an intake with all parties involved as well as individual sessions. The therapist should be upfront about confidentiality and what they will or will not keep confidential between people in the relationship.
Psychoeducation: Understanding the biological, psychological, and social aspects of sexuality is a crucial part of the process. The therapist will provide up to date and accurate information to dispel myths, address stigma, and give you the information to develop a healthier understanding of your body and sex. If needed, medical assessment might be recommended to rule out underlying physiological factors.
Skill Building: Sex therapy often utilizes practical strategies, such as improving communication, enhancing intimacy, managing anxiety, and addressing specific sexual dysfunctions through tailored exercises and techniques. In between session practice of these exercises and skills are imperative to your treatment progress.
Ongoing Treatment: The length of sex therapy depends on your presenting concerns and goals for therapy. The therapist should check in regularly on treatment progress and address any concerns with flexibility centered on your treatment goals. Therapy will provide continuous support as you implement new strategies and navigate changes in how you relate to yourself, your body, and if applicable, your partner(s).
My Approach
I believe in a client-centered, non-judgmental, and evidence-based approach. My overall goal in sex therapy is to empower you to:
Discover yourself: Identify your current needs, desires, and boundaries. Give yourself permission to change.
Challenge internalized beliefs: Address how systems of power and oppression have shaped your beliefs and values about your body, sexuality, and sexual behaviors.
Improve communication: Develop effective ways to articulate your needs, desires, and boundaries with partners.
Improve sexual satisfaction: As defined by you! Foster emotional and physical intimacy that feels authentic and fulfilling.
Resolve challenges: Address specific sexual functioning concerns with compassion and effective strategies.
Embrace your sexuality: Develop a healthier relationship with your own sexual self.
Schedule Your Consultation
Taking the first step towards a more fulfilling and pleasurable sex life can feel intimidating, because it's a powerful act of self-care! I invite you to schedule a free 30-minute consultation to discuss your needs and explore how sex therapy with Dr. Lauren Wiklund can support you. Contact me to schedule a consultation or inquire about becoming a client. I offer virtual therapy services in 40+ PSYPACT states. I can’t wait to meet you!
